Britney gets a new driver and a boyfriend

Could things be looking up for the world's favorite cracked out crazy? HAHA yeah right...but at least she isn't putting her kids in as much danger as before. She's complied with the courts order that she may not drive with her children in her car and hired a driver.

She's also, allegedly, decided to spread her crazy to a new boyfriend. too bad nobody cares.

Klum and her Boobs

This video would be perfect...if Heidi would shut the fuck up. Here she is ruining a perectly awesome video of boobs with her completely insane german-babble

Paris shows China how we do it

Paris hilton visited China and decided to recreate a few scenes from one of her movies...you know, the only movie of hers that anyone actually watched. Here she is practicing her obscene act for everyone.

Tyson Free! Run for your life!

Everybody cover your ears! Mike Tyson was released this morning after serving 24 hours in jail. the terrifying former boxer spent his time reading "American Gangsta" and will be on probation for 3 years after serving the time for his DUI arrest.

Britney Hates the Handicapped

Britney spears showed her disdain for the handicapped today by parking in their spot. Last time I checked being lazy and stupid wasn't a disability. Man she just has bad luck with cars, ya'll, maybe she's too stupid to drive. She couldn't be bothered parking two feet to the left while tanning today in LA. In too big of a hurry to read the sign...after all, that kind of reading would have taken her a while, and momma spears had to tan now! No time for reading when she's late to snort lines off of Jayden James' head.

chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried!

Hilarious! Chuck Norris Facts on the Best Damn Sports Show Period

The Bromance is Over Officially

More fake drama occured on the hills this week when Spencer tried to "reach out" to Brody. it didn't work out shockingly, and the former bros remained just that. The episode ended with a picturesque snuggle between brody and lauren. Thank god im sure the writers wouldn't be happy if the shows enemies made up. Then who would watch? But guyssss its so real! There was lots of set up scenes in New York, when the morons at Teen Vogue decide its necessary to fly two interns across the country. Smart thinking.

Real World: Sydney Recap

The Real World: Sydney became slightly more exciting when castmember Shavon left to please her whiny boyfriend. That's about the most exciting thing to happen on this show in years! oh yeah they also went to Cairns to bunjee jump,and then the audience fell asleep

Old French Whore for Halloween

What did Britney Spears go as for halloween? some kind of old french whore...saggy pirate hooker? Judge for yourself

Kobe NOT coming to Chicago

New Reports surfaced saying that Kobe Bryant will definately not be coming to the bulls. Talks could resume, but lets hope that the reviled basketball player keeps his ass out of Chicago.

Uggly Sluts of the week

Please stop wearing Uggs, they do not look good. Any girl wearing them should be tripped...and guys wearing them, well that should be punished with mandatory jail time. Do any of these things look good? Stop being lazy women of the world, i understand they are warm but you all look like crazy bitches. Get these things off the street!

P.S. girls in Uggs boots are also subject to review under the Crazy/Hot Continuum.

She loves the pussy

Continuing my parade of Britney Spears news...apparently she is now a lesbian, but not just any lesbian, one that demands some junk in the trunk. She claims that she is attracted to amateur porn star Kim Kardashian, who made a sex tape to force her fame upon us poor innocent bystanders. Britney called Kim a "horny beast" and a "real woman". As if the unhinged singer hasn't scarred her children enough she claimed that she liked her ass...it takes a real woman to eat enough cheetos to fill out that butt.

Expect a Britney Jr. Very soon

According to Life & Style Magazine Britney Spears is constantly forgetting to take her pill. She's constantly forgetting where she put them," says an insider, "She seems to find it amusing -- she laughs at how scattered she is." "She seems to think that just because she isn't in a formal relationship, she's somehow immune to getting pregnant."

Well maybe she needs to put more money into education cause apparently she's stupider than a freshman in remedial math.

You'd think that after 2 mistakes she'd learn, but if she has another she can just neglect it some more and maybe make it into some kind of slave? Bring mamma some more of that special water, little Cleutus.

Torre + Dodgers = Great

Finally the Dodgers get some help. Now that he is free from the clutches of George Steinbrenner Joe Torre has signed on with the LA Dodgers. Not only will this heat up a rivalry more interesting than Yankees/Boston but make the post season a little more exciting too.

Britney's Spending

According to THIS Britney Spears spends $4,758 a month on eating out. That's a lot of taco bell ya'll

She only spends $500 a month on charity and nothing on education. Big surprise there.

What will she eat when she goes bankrupt though? My guess is her children...

How sweet would it be to hear color

Cool article about hearing and tasting color

http://www.livescience.com/health/050222_synesthesia.html

Beast Pigs are Real and their Coming for you

Beast pigs are on their way. Thanks to growth hormones and irresponsible science beast pigs are being found all over including the above b.pig in Georgia. Experts have warned local rednecks and yokels to look out for these creatures as they might cause thousands of dollars worth or damage to trailers etc

http://www.livescience.com/animals/071102-new-peccary.html

Britney Spears on Drugs and High

"I feel like I'm missing out on life or something" Maybe that's why she's so crazy.

Check out this video of a messed up britney spears eating, babbling, and debating the physics of time travel. It's totally real, ya'll